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SwytchSymphony
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Name: gene
Location: San Diego, California, United States
Birthday: 8/26/1987
Gender: Female
Interests: movies, dance(lots and lots of dancing) solitare(lots and lots of solitare), eye candy, some sorts of anime, old english literature/poetry, being bored(doesnt happen very often to me), books and movies
Expertise: cars, cute boys, dance, people, old movies, pizza, back rubs, plays, acting, swimming, and being annoyingly confusing
Occupation: Other
Industry: Art
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
9/11/2004
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| You used to be Mine......
You feel sick, but I care
You act frustrated, I feel unprepared Its one thing to presume that I can make you well,
Its another to sit with me and never tell Never tell anything about yourself
A book of my self is always there You never pick up that word ridden square
I nurtured you You resist and my actions seem askew How can I break your isolation
Between us, there is some degradation In your company, I feel totally alone
Sometimes only because of your tone With effort, you see me for who I am
Then you believe we can I want to reach you
You have not many insights, but there are a few A few I want to give
I think they will help you LIVE Eventually you let me in
When we ended all we had left was sin A sin of neglect and self hate,
Of anger and pain that always made me late There was a greatness beween us
When i took the time ot work out my own fuss You finally let me in
And our love was beautiful to begin The everything we shared
Made my pulse face A touch a smile, a tender look Then my wold shook
For awhile you wanted me, Then your cage grew and you could not be free
Free of your grief, of your pain That was alright, but it was never the same
I should have spoken up but I did not dare I thought I could pull us through I was so scare
Scared til the end and a little scared now I loved you so, I may never understand how
Feeling
Its an explosion. Everything you could feel all at once, its like every idea tahat every person in the room is feeling is trapped in an airplane box with me. There is peace and uncertianty, apprehension and acceptance. This room flows with absent minded nothing and unintended revelations. I swim in this sea of feeling. I am trying not to drowned. I am pulled with the current of thoughts. Its a riptide. Feelings consume and direct me. they comfort and challenge me. This room feels like a Moshing cotton ball-flailing about but absorbing all the impact with circular grace and integrity. I give my pen control over my thoughts and all the feelings in the room. All the angerstriferesentemetnjoy flows from my mind onto this page with uninterrupted ease.
Uncertainty
Dont know where to go from here, Uncomfortably, I acknowledge my fear.
Choices and crossroads to take, No longer for the masses to make.
I can feel my mind want to ride, I beckon my fears to abide.
Abide by there rules I want to keep, Enjoy moving with my feet
I want to go many direction, My feet may take me to my convictions
Then again, there are so many places, My feet are what my brain chases
Stay here , go there, I care
But how do I decide?
Unintended Revelations (Barriers)
I like this ideas. It gives me a rush. This idea that things will pop into my head and make an impact. An impact without warening ore caution, an impact with concequences and with freedoms or belicing in a kingdom. Am impact that manifests in self security, impacting impropriety. An impact that makes me evaluate. an Impact that helps me create an impact that shows me who I am and that I can. An impacts that starts a flood. Ana impact that takes me out of the mud. an impact that is slightly absurd. an impact that impacts more than just me. An impact that shows me who i can be.
An impact that's unintended
An impact that cannot be contended
An impact that quakes foundations
an impact that carries revelations
Sniffle
Something seemingly everyone has
An ailment all want to pass
contagious
Sneezing sounds outrageous
painful
The pressure makes me resentful
foggy aches and pains
All I am doing is complain
Slightly fevered
Like I am floating in the ether
Over worked and under prepared
What to do but stop being scared
Buck up or shut up prissy
The world waits for no one missy
Love
Comes in many forms. Soft forms and hard forms. Clean fors and confusing forms. Painful ways and recieling ways. There is encouragemtent and guidance wit love. Love can be very simple in a complex relationship. Why is it so hard to accept but not hard to love. Where do the tools to exist positively in love an in complexities. When strife appears and there is no fear, Love is there . I am not hurt or afraid. I am..... surprised. off center. A whirl wind of feeling and not all of it is bad. Its may not be good either. I am struggling to accept everything. Thats what love is sometimes. All over acceptance. I can, I will, but the steps to get there are fuzzy. without clarity. without a system. There are many different kinds of love. Will this change the kind I have now? I dnot know what to develop furs. To know what to continue doing. So i can accept on this new level. I am lost in my love. I am lost in my feeling.
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| Sometimes it takes a conversation, just one little conversation, to make you see what you are hiding from with your shame. Shame is something thats new to me. I have never spent my time doing something I would consider shameful. Others have been ashamed of me but I am almost never ashamed of myself. I am going to attribute that to my conceit because thats more convenient than anything else. I did something I am ashamed of. I have no experience dealing with my own shame. I love everyone else through their shame. How do you love yourself when its your love that you are ashamed of.
I have decided to think of life like its a tunnel. There are places where it collapses. Sometimes you can fix it. Sometimes you cant. Sometimes you get the tools later in life and can go back and repair. YOU DONT HAVE TO LIVE IN THE WRECKAGE. Its ok to move on. Its ok to come back when your ready. If you stop, you never learn.
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| Oh, what silly tangled webs we weave
In our little cottage by the sea
What perilous connections we do make
With, what seems like, the whole world is at stake
Why is it that everything is so complex
How do i deal with this particular vex
Triangles are such complicated things
Running away accomplishes nothing
Face your fear
Not what you want to hear?
Its ok to be scared
Sail your ship and see how you fare
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| i got three phone numbers yesterday. whats up with that? i dont understand why exactly. i wasnt wearing any thing cute. or any makeup. or even good hair. it was just kinda standing up on end. a little frizzy. maybe it was the pants. they made my butt look fabulous. but three men!!!! several hours apart!!!!!!!!!! each appealing to a different facet of my personality. one tough cute construction dude from Texas, one sensitive musician guy, and one interesting surfer dude. weird. its weird. it was odd. been along time since any guy decided that i needed his number. and decided that they didnt care that i already have a boyfriend. what the hell is with that anyway. i really dont understand. what is with that. it irks me. i dont know whether to be flattered or insulted. arg. i dont know whether or not to be worried about phill and i or to just be worried about the other half of the species.
on the up side, next payday im getting a tattoo
yippie for me!
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| I really really hate cheap wine glasses. HARD CORE!
*grumbles* i was tearing a receipt off the printer on Register 1 and I, being the exceptional clown that i am, hit a wine glass: which broke in half and flew about 4 feet and off the counter. I'm and idiot. i caught the whine glass with the sharp end pointing down. 1/4 inch puncture wound in my left palm. THE LAMENESS!!! Am allergic to hydrogen peroxide. and LAME WITH THE PAINGENESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OUCH!!!
Typing hurts, i have to work with gloves on and we only have the powdered kind.
ARRRRRRRGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
On the up side, i got to go swimming today and Mom got her tooth pulled. exciting!!!!!!!!!!!
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